MODERN INVENTION

Seated between a Japanese and German businessmen, ERAP listens to the two. The German, talking in his native language, had on a headgear. The Japanese asked the German "Kore wa des ka?...what is that?"

GERMAN: "Hiel...dezz iz nothing. It iz zee latest technology ien Germany... the headsvone! I am talking to mine headquarters inzee Berlin."

The Japanese, not to be outdone, also started talking in his native language. The German asked him, "Vhat is dhat?"

JAPANESE: "Ano ne..kore wa is latest Japanes technology in Japan! Have mic implant in tongue... and speaker in ear. I speak to office in Tokyo...neh."

ERAP, irked by the two other nationalities started to do a slow and looong FART. "....TRRRRRRR, TRRRR..PURURUUUUUUUT!" The two businessmen closing their noses say...."&^^%$#@! WHAT'S THAT SOUND???"

ERAP says proudly, "Ah that, that's nothing. I WAS ONLY SENDING A FAX!"

Camel

A newly assigned Capt. asked the Sgt. what the camel is for.
The Sgt. shyly said they use it when they feel an urge for a female.
The Capt. understood, so he let the camel stay.
One night the Capt. felt an urge, so the Sgt. brought the camel to his tent.
Aftr sex w/ the camel he saw the Sgt. smiling outside.
So he asked the Sgt.: "Is that the way you do it?".
The Sgt. replied: "No Sir, we usually ride the camel to the next town where the girls are." =)

Nitrates

Chemistry teacher asks a beautiful sexy student: "What are NITRATES?"
The cute bombshell replied shyly: "Sir, NITRATES are more expensive than Day Rates." =)

Si Inday

Babae: "Langya kang lalaki ka! Ginabi ka nanaman! Lasing ka pa! Ang kapal ng muka mo!! Hayop ka talaga!!!"
Lalaki: "Tumahimik ka nga Inday! Katulong ka lang dito!" =)+