Camel

A newly assigned Capt. asked the Sgt. what the camel is for.
The Sgt. shyly said they use it when they feel an urge for a female.
The Capt. understood, so he let the camel stay.
One night the Capt. felt an urge, so the Sgt. brought the camel to his tent.
Aftr sex w/ the camel he saw the Sgt. smiling outside.
So he asked the Sgt.: "Is that the way you do it?".
The Sgt. replied: "No Sir, we usually ride the camel to the next town where the girls are." =)

Nitrates

Chemistry teacher asks a beautiful sexy student: "What are NITRATES?"
The cute bombshell replied shyly: "Sir, NITRATES are more expensive than Day Rates." =)

Si Inday

Babae: "Langya kang lalaki ka! Ginabi ka nanaman! Lasing ka pa! Ang kapal ng muka mo!! Hayop ka talaga!!!"
Lalaki: "Tumahimik ka nga Inday! Katulong ka lang dito!" =)+

Ang Tanga

Tatlong tanga nagsisiksikan sa maliit na kama...
Tanga 1: "Pare di tayo kasya. Bawas tayo ng isa. Sa sahig na lang matulog."
(Bumaba ang isa)
Tanga 2: "Ayan pare maluwag na, akyat ka na dito!" =) 

Keso

Magkaibigan kumakain...
Pedro: "Anong palaman ng tinapay mo?"
Juan: "Kiso!"
Pedro: "Kiso? Ano ka ba! Nkakahiya ka! Para kang bisaya! Hindi yan kiso, Chess yan Chess!" =)

Insult

Woman w/ baby on a bus...
Driver: "What an ugly baby!"
Hurt, she went to another seat.
The man next to her asked: "What's wrong?"
Woman: "The driver just insulted me."
Man: "He should give you respect! Go get his name and ID number. I'll hold your monkey for u." =)

$1M

What would you do if you wake up one morning w/ $1M beside you?
Kano: Travel around the world.
Hapon: Build a hotel.
Pinoy: Tulog ulit para maging $2M. =)

GRO o CG?

A lolo went to a karaoke bar and was asked:
Owner: "Sir, ano gusto nyo GRO o CG?"
Lolo: "GRO alam ko, pero anong CG, yan ba yung Call Girl?"
Owner: "Hindi sir, Care Giver!" =)

Tae na to.

Student: "Mam, bubukol ba ang utot sa pantalon?"
Teacher: "No, hindi! Remember class, kahit gano kalakas ang utot di bubukol sa pantalon."
Student: "Patay! (Tae na.)" =)

Panty

A wife lost 3 panties in her house.
She blamed her maid in front of her husband.
The maid replied: "Ay koya, ekaw and testego, de ako nagpa-panti, de ba?" =)