DENTAL APPOINTMENT

The Estrada's ' were shown into the dentist's office, where Erap made it clear he was in a big hurry.

"No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered. "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."

"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"

Erap turned to his wife Loi. "Show him your tooth, Honey."

MASAKIT ANG TIYAN

Erap: Doc, ang sakit sakit ng ulo ko.

DOC: Ang ulo, parang tiyan, pag walang laman sumasakit!

DIRECTION

On board an Air Force plane that Erap had commandeered to pursue a group of kidnappers on another plane, the pilot t
ells Erap: "Sir, enemy plane comming in at 5 o'clock." Erap replies: "Good. We have time to plan our moves. It's only 4:25 by my watch."

PHONE CALL

Doctor: What happened to your ears?

Erap: I was ironing my pants when the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead.

Doctor: What happened to your other ear?

Erap: The Son of a Bitch called back.

HISTORICAL

ERAP: Pare,may problema ako sa kumare mo. Masyadong historical tuwing nag-aaway kami.

PARE :Baka hysterical ang gusto mong sabihin.

ERAP: Hindi, historical talaga, pare. Kasi pag kami nag-aaway, lagi na lang niyang inuungkat 'yung nakaraan.

WINNING

Eraps walks into a casino where he see's a coke vending machine.

He puts in some money and a coke falls out. He smiles and keeps

putting in more and more money, and getting heaps of cokes. He does

this for about an hour or so until an aide comes up to him and says

"Havent you had enough, Sir?" and he says back, "No! Cant you see I'm winning!"

NEW BOND

Pierce Brosnan resigned from being James Bond

and was substituted by a filipino actor named Joseph Estrada.

IQ 007, First movie "His Brain Is Not Enough."

Soon to be shown to theatres near you.

LOVE CODE

Sa panliligaw ni Erap, mahilig siyang sumulat ng coded love messages  tulad ng:

ITALY - I truly adore and love you
SASAYA - Stay as Sweet as you are

Para lalong bumilib and kanyang nililigawan , sinikap niyang gumawa ng  "love  letter" na gamit and alphabet:
 
ABC - Always be careful
DEF - Don't Ever forget
GHI - Go Home Immediately
JKLM - Just Keep Loving Me
NOPQRSTUVW - No One Perfectly Quite Romantic Should Treat U Very Well
Napa-whew at pinagpawisan si Erap. Tatlong titik na lang and natitira...XYZ.

Pinag-isipan ito nang husto ni Erap. Makalipas ang oras, napangiti siya at pinalakpakan ang kanyang sarili bago sinulat ang:
 
XYZ - Xee You Zoon!!