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NAMES An Erap's pregnant sister was involved in a car accident and, while in the hospital, she fell into a coma. When she awoke days later, the woman noticed that she was no longer carrying a child, and asked, "Doc, what happened to my baby!" The doctor replied, "Ma'am, you've had twins! You're the proud mother of a handsome baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. Also, you should know that while you were in a coma, Erap named the children for you." "Oh, no!" shrieked the woman. "Not him! He's not really all together, if you know what I mean!" The doctor replied, "Well, ma'am, your brother named your daughter Denise." "Oh, that's no so bad," smiled the woman. Then, hesitantly, she asked, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor grinned and said, "Denephew." THE DOG As a boy, ERAP went to school everyday with his dog. But later, they had to separate and ERAP went to school alone. WHY ? BECAUSE THE DOG GRADUATED. SPEAK-OUT If Erap could only speak his mind... He would be Speechless. COFFEE Pumasok si ERAP sa Starbucks.
ERAP: Coffee please.
Waiter:Would you like your coffee BLACK?
ERAP: H m m m, WHAT OTHER COLOR DO YOU HAVE? HOLIDAY SEER to ERAP; you will die on a holiday. ERAP: Which holiday.? SEER: ANY DAY YOU DIE WILL BE A HOLIDAY! VIP'S ON A SINKING SHIP: CLINTON: What do we do? YELTSIN: Get a life boat. ARAFAT: All the Women First. SADDAM: Women? Fuck the Women!!! ERAP: Talaga? May oras pa ba? ERAP'S WORDS OF WISDOM
If the cat is away, the mouse is alone.
If others can do it, don't help anymore.
Don't talk to strangers if your mouth is full.
Don't count the eggs if it is not yours.
Money is Beauty if the Face is Empty VIOLATION Nahuli ni Erap ang dalawang empleyado na nag-aanuhan sa sa office niya. "Violating company rules kayo niyan," paalala ni Erap. "Anong rule po?" tanong ng lalaki. Nag-isip muna si Erap, "Not wearing uniforms!"
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